So, no one in my life currently understands that I find it physically drained to meet anyone I don’t know. Let alone after a long day of meetings and social business events. I just want to be in my room cuddled up like a cat with AC on, with my near and dear loved ones. Yeah, exactly, near and dear loved ones, but them only! Is it too complicated a sentence for people to understand, it simply means yes I love going out with you if you are my close friend, but no I hate going with your friends, and yes I am killing your friend(s) in my head in all different ways if you force/ambush me to go out with someone I don’t know well.
With my work hours literally engulfing my entire survival, I feel like I am just a working person, not a daughter, not a sister, not a friend, not a girlfriend. I am in desperate need for breaks, but I don’t like going out alone either.
If your parents are always going out with each other or their friends, your friends have other large groups of friends, your brother has his friends and your boyfriend has his friends to go to movies with, who do you go out with.
Amidst all this, if you are suffering inside every day from a disease that always renders you tired, depressed (not sad! yeah fuckers learn the difference before asking me why are your depressed or asking me to cheer up), pain in every part of your body or some of them all the time, and still you have to display your smiling supportive best self to your workplace, your business partners, your investors, and your family, because they already consider you a fragile flower with boobs in an impossible journey to build an empire.
I am still tired now, but happy because I wrote down some stuff, it feels great, but life really sucks sometimes, especially for an entrepreneur (a female one at that). After a hard months work if I just get a simple cozy dinner in a good enough place with just my mom dad and brother or just my boyfriend, wouldn’t that be great? But none of them have any time to spend with me. I used to be okay being alone, but just okay is not enough right?